A quiet end (and beginning)...

Well, a wise person once said 'ask and you shall receive'. I have now been praying (and mind you, I'm about as much the praying kind as I am the marrying kind) for a while for something to come up and release me from the toddler-heavy workload that I was under. It was eating away at me that my own son Ethan's well being and spirit were sufferring, that he wasn't feeling like he was part of his own home any more. Well, starting next week I trade toddlers for schoolies and even though my hours will be far less my pay will be more.

I have had a brief look in to my future over the last two weeks, as I was too unwell to take the other peoples' toddlers in to care and it was just me and my son, so I got a nice look in to the future of my days of working. His behaviour improved remarkably and seemingly instantly, and so did my demeanour too, I might add. I was no longer stressed about my son hurting or rushing past any other children, I wasn't getting upset because parents didn't seem to care about milestones that I was concerned about. It all just melted away.

I think our relationship (mine and my son's) actually benefitted amazingly from that little break, and that it will continue to grow as the next few months see us able to spend a lot more time without other peoples' toddlers around, and before the baby is due. I already have plans of how I will spend our days together, involving his huge interest in cooking, in the great outdoors and in wildlife. We have quite the stockpile to build, with the baby coming and christmas looming, so lots of guests to have stores for and we even found two pantries to put them in, amongst all our newly appreciated freezer space as well. I am starting to talk to my friends already on how to support my little man when the baby comes, especially in the hospital where the catch phrases will be that 'they came here to see you, but you weren't here yet!' or 'thank goodness you got here in time to see my Ethan, he was about to leave me to go home and have lunch!'. I am determined that if I've learned anything over the past year of looking after other peoples' children, it is that I'm not going to treat him like he comes after them ever again. It was breaking his heart, and mine, but now we're friends (and allies when it comes to catching tadpoles) again....