Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Seeing Past the Blur to the Beauty...

I have just realised that I can hear properly again! It's so nice, to be able to load up a song and hear it in its full intent. So I can say that I am over the worst of the last two or three weeks, my throat is back in shape and my voice no longer sounds awful or feels gravelly, and my ears aren't giving me a constant feeling of sea sickness. It's been a big cold!
But during it all, when I could hardly do a thing but sit with the kiddo's and enjoy the ability for them to watch tv, or when Ethan and I painted up our Fathers Day memory box, it was nice to still be looking past the boring every day and appreciating their beautiful natures. Alice and her daily need to get up, have a brief cuddle and then ask for "bekbas" (breakfast) before pushing Gypsy's legs apart and sitting with her back up to that adorable pooch's torso. Ethan and his nightly need - "I can't fall asleep without it" - for a story. He now knows the words to Where the Wild Things Are by heart. These things were daily rituals, even with a wobbly sense of balance and a horrid ability to fall asleep on a whim (thank god for locking doors and hidey holes for keys!), these things were stay-points to our days. I could see past their boredom, straight to their love and beauty.
Past that blur of hurried childhood and running for shoes to go to the creek with dad, past the want to have four apples for breakfast and let the fruit sugar high make them mental for several hours afterward.
Past all that, and in to their beautiful souls.

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Music, and Television....lack of one, loads of the other....

Yesterday I purchased an ipod dock. Yeah, I'm behind, I know. Nevermind, never been a trendsetter anyway!
But we invested in a decent one, as otherwise I could just run the ipod through the laptop in the kitchen anyway, right? I want to hear the music, not regret hearing the music! A tinny, non-balanced music speaker is none to good for me, to be honest, and I'm not even a hifi snob. But I did have requirements - I did Not want a clock on it, I did want it to be little (cos who can find more room even in a massive open plan area, right?), and I wanted it to have clear sound. Not Loud sound, but good and clear. I want to hear the guitar strums, the back up vocals layered on top of each other even when it is 'just' the one guy, strumming and singing me a love song. Those three things were important to me. So I researched, allbeit very hurriedly, and found myself a brand that had a little system that was perfect.
And you know what? The tv hasn't been on all day. If I'm honest, it was because Ethan didn't do as he was asked. But man, he has hardly noticed - could it be the noise in this area of the house maybe? I guess only time will tell...

Monday, August 22, 2011

Still Grateful....

Hey! I've been sick. Sickity sick sick sick. an ear infection landed me quite firmly on my backside for about 10 days, and although the ringing hasn't stopped, I at least am able to stay awake and walk a little way now more than I could even last friday. It's been quite the non-adventure!
So in all that time I've been quite upset that I hadn't been able to post a blog, to be honest. I had quite a lot to be thankful for, too. I have the luck of having a partner that could go and tell his boss I wasn't able to care properly for the kids, and they sent him back home to me! Imagine that?!!! I couldn't drive, could barely stand, if I'm honest, and cooking, cleaning and even hearing the kids was becoming quite difficult. I am so lucky he could do this. There are many places where it wouldn't have been possible, lets face it!
I was sooooooo, sooooo thankful for television, for the first real time ever. The ability to turn on the idiot box, load up a movie or just put on abc for kids, then quite literally 'plonk' the kids in front? That was a pure godsend. I couldn't do anything folks, and both of them weren't well either, so yep, plonkity plonk plonk plonk they went. For about four days I think all they really did was watch tv and eat junk food.
I was thankful for our health system in Australia. Sure, a four hour wait in emergency isn't exactly entertaining. But WE HAVE A HEALTHCARE SYSTEM. The pain in my ear was unbearable. I cannot imagine what this would be like if I lived somewhere where there is not a system at all. Or even where there is just one doctor.
And I was thankful for the abundance in my life. I dunno if I've mentioned it lately, but I have not got a lot of family support here in Western Australia. In fact, without going in to the hairy detail, the family support here that I do have, I don't actually trust enough to lean on (ok, enough said). But I do have an Aunt through the fella's side, and more than that, I have a Jess. My girlfriend Jess is another Godsend. Capital G, this time. She came numerous times, this time and many others, just to help watch the kiddo's so I could attend the ER again, or do stuff, or even just to knit with in the night time. I hope she knows how much that has meant to me. Not having to take two bored kids to an emergency room is a priceless gift. Coming home and having her offer to go and grab some chow so I don't have to cook? Are ya frikkin kidding me? That's just unbelievable. Not to mention all the abundance of things like my stores cupboards, my childrens clothing, and things that just didn't need doing like washing and cooking because I am one well looked after by the universe woman. I didnt wash any clothes for over five days, and we were never at risk of running out of anything, because I am so lucky with the amount of clothing that we all have accumulated over the course of time. It sounds trivial, but it wasn't. It did take a while to catch up on it all, but the thing is I could leave it that long to start with!
Then, as the smog of the pain and the manky ear lifted, I really became thankful for my own energy. I took the pooch on her first walk in a week yesterday, and it was such a blessing. And on sunday we actually took the kids out of the house - out of the suburb even! AMAZING! So then we took them to somewhere beautiful - Point Walter. Thank you!

Saturday, August 13, 2011


It's been a loooong week folks. A long one. We have all been sick, with a flu that has really tested everyone's ability to maintain some sort of energy level. So cooped up in the house, sick, tired, and bored, we have been hanging out at home. Oh. My. Goodness. Me, two kids, a dog, and a fenced in attitude.
So today I thought a little retail therapy, and a lotta walking in the son, might do exactly what we need. Give us some sun, a stretched pair of legs each, and the nice fresh lungs would do us good. So we did.
And there were moments where their little hearts and minds were full, and their smiles were real and stretched all over their faces. It was beautiful. Truly gorgeous and beautiful.
And for that, I'm thankful.

Thursday, August 11, 2011


I'm thankful for sleep today. Long, enduring, deep sleep. It only occurred to me the other day that it wasn't so long ago, I would have sold a kidney for a promise of long, enduring and deep sleep. At the beginning of the year, Ethan and Alice were sharing a room, and neither of them slept more than about 2hours at a stretch, and getting them to sleep was swear word and hair tearing out inducing.
But no more. I am lucky. Soooo frikkin lucky, that we are in an income bracket where we have to have health insurance in Australia. Our health insurance made it possible for me to take my kids to a sleep clinic, and the bill? $4000. Yeah, a 4 and then THREE zeros. But because we have health insurance, it was $250. So totally doable. So we went, and in only four nights, I came home with these amazing children I could never have imagined on the way in.
It's while we've all been so sick with this cold (and this cold is nasty, lemmetellya!) that I've become so aware, acutely aware, of how well my children have been able to still sleep. And I'm so thankful for that. Knowing that my gorgeous little Alice will pull herself on to my knee, cuddle up and say "I tired, need a bobble and a ni-nigh", and that Ethan will go and lay down in his room when he's feeling super emotional and wiped out, or at other times come and ask me to grab my knitting, help him put on a movie and sit with him to relax.
It's so good to have children who have learnt to relax. Sooo good. I can remember the days, not so long ago, when they would never have done it. And now I have the skill to know the signs, and they are able to recognise in themselves when they need the rest, too.

Monday, August 8, 2011


Sorry I've been gone all week. Ethan was unwell, truly unwell. A flu took out most of his class.
And now I have it. So I could be another week yet!

Monday, August 1, 2011


The growing ability to see the great things in my children is such a great exercise, and one that I am, if fact, very grateful for.
I can't remember who thought of it - did I, or was it something someone said that made me think of it, I don't know. But in the few weeks that I have been practising this mindful kind of parenting, I think we've all come a little way toward further appreciating one another. I'm more willing to relax about things my kids do and take a gentler road than screaming like a banshee, and they seem more relaxed because of that noise reduction, too, I guess.
The boy in front of me is growing more and more independent each day. One day it was like he needed help picking his clothes out, the next he is nearly reading and writing different things on his own. His brain is growing in ability, he monitors his own behaviour so much more than before, and the love he has for others inspires me to do the same.
The girl, well, she's rapidly approaching two and I can barely believe that it was not far from this age in Ethan that I found out I was having another bub. She is really one easy going kid! Has her fair share of input to our conversations and ideas about how things should go, but generally is happy to go along with the majority.
And for this, and many other things, I am grateful.