Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Preparations for Holidays

So, I haven't been here enough to practice my calm, loving, grateful ways.  And I'd like to pretend that that hasn't affected my approach to my life, but honestly it probably has.  I'm not sure.

But I am incredibly grateful for many things at the moment...

My eversoamazing pooch, and her adaptability.
My gorgeous son; his pretending to be high maintainance whilst taking on the transtition to a new school next year; his hilarious playing with Alice (who doesn't like tickling a 2yr old at will); his willingness to just sit and draw or thumb through a book/read when he needs to calm down.
My adorable daughter; her beautiful personality; her easy going attitude and friendliness; her ability to speak, quite clearly, for her age.
My partner; for his ability to work away; his love for his children; his way of approaching chores until they're done perfectly.

As we head in to the holiday season, I'm trying to log on here every couple of days to celebrate gratitude, love and peacefulness in the home.  Especially when 'tis the season for stress, topsy-turvyness of plans, and funds that run extraordinarily low.  A little bit of yelling out loud about what I have to be thankful for will be a dose of what is needed here daily!

Friday, September 30, 2011

sheer joyful love...

Today I am thankful for simplicity.  The simple-ness of a sun-warmed strawberry, for example, can be followed by the happiness that sweet juicy hands bring, a messy face, and make the whole day of getting two year old molars melt away within seconds.

It is really just fantastic.  A tiny heart, a budding personality, and a love of strawberries.

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

I have been so damn busy these last few weeks that even though I've spared it a thought, I haven't spared it some time!

I am going ok though, no complaints from here.

Just having a blast.

How 'bout you?

Friday, September 23, 2011

Time...off and on....

I have been away, for what seems like a million blog days!  Truth is, I just got caught up in the Great Everything.  That stuff that happens, the stuff that gets you moving, first thing in the morning.  Like lunches that need fixing, clothes that need getting on children who need to get and move about and go to school.

We had an amazing cold, turned ear infection, turned fella coming home because I could barely function as a human.  And it all kind of caught us from there.  Feels like not a day goes by when I don't get three loads of washing to do!

But I am still thankful.  I am thankful that I have time to do all these things, and the resources to complete them.  We had a tough financial month, and are about to have another one as well, but due to good management and fantastic planning skills, I took the time to stock cupboards, pay school fees ahead of time and get stuff paid in time.  So it's not that we're in a pickle, it's that we're planned up!

I took some time this evening to grab hold of some inspiration that I got this afternoon.  I visited a friend who made a skirt for a birthday present in 90 minutes!  NINETY!!!  It was sooo lovely to watch, that when we got home I threw myself in to the sewing room and got a quick quilt done.  It's not a quilt by any quilters' standard, let me say.  But it is two pieces of fabric, with lines sewn on and batting in between.  And I'm sure my little girl will love it!

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Little thoughts that become big, beautiful outcomes...

Don't you just love it when a plan comes together???  This photo, believe it or not, was taken in the dark.  Luckily for me it takes a freight train to wake up Ethan, so I got away with the flash.

You see, they say that if you put your mind to it, anything can happen.  And I am one lucky chick when it comes to putting my mind to things and then having them come out completely as I hoped.  This picture, to me, is just a little snapshot of time, testament to what can happen when my tiny mind starts ticking.

I wanted curtains in the kids rooms, and took myself off to the fabric shop in search of some cheap material.  See those curtains?  TOTAL BARGAIN!  They were $50 for two sets (Alice has some too), are fully thermal blocked curtains and the cutest little animals on them you ever did see.  Now, see that train bed?  Ethan didn't like the bed he had.  I loved it, and I have kept it for Alice.  But that there train bed?  SEVENTY BUCKS!!!  Ethan was soooo stoked that even now, about four weeks after we got it, he still shows it off to people when they visit.  And that dog....she is just the most special dog.  She's perfect, and she loves each one of us sooo much.  This particular night, Ethan was adamant that she go to sleep at the same time as him, and then he popped that red blanket on top of her, "because it was too cold Mum".  And that's where they both stayed til the morning.

And that boy?  I knew he was coming too.  And I'm so happy he's turning out to be such a sweetheart.  A big, gorgeous, adorable sweetheart.

At least today.

Monday, September 5, 2011

Thanks to the Sun...

Aaaaaaahhhh, spring.  I have a special love of spring, especially since moving to Western Australia and knowing what a Stinking Hot Summer is like.  I love every single day of spring.  The smells, the sounds, the spotting of our first ducklings, the downpours of the very last rainclouds that think they'd better rush on over and dump a creek full of water before they aren't allowed to seriously have a deluge til next March.

I just love it.  I love that we can one day have a beautifully cool day, and then the next is a practice toward the hotter ones, where we might reach the mid 20's.

Today was one of those days.  A gorgeous preview of what the sun can do for us, the warm feel of the rays on our skin.  The outdoors were perfect, and the paintings dried nice and quick!

Thursday, September 1, 2011


I've had a plan to start a womens group for such a long, long time now.  And it's nearly here.  I have, by chance, met a woman that knows more of this than me, and not only is she willing to share, but she's been looking for someone to start a group like this as well!

Synchronicity.  I am thankful for that.

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Seeing Past the Blur to the Beauty...

I have just realised that I can hear properly again! It's so nice, to be able to load up a song and hear it in its full intent. So I can say that I am over the worst of the last two or three weeks, my throat is back in shape and my voice no longer sounds awful or feels gravelly, and my ears aren't giving me a constant feeling of sea sickness. It's been a big cold!
But during it all, when I could hardly do a thing but sit with the kiddo's and enjoy the ability for them to watch tv, or when Ethan and I painted up our Fathers Day memory box, it was nice to still be looking past the boring every day and appreciating their beautiful natures. Alice and her daily need to get up, have a brief cuddle and then ask for "bekbas" (breakfast) before pushing Gypsy's legs apart and sitting with her back up to that adorable pooch's torso. Ethan and his nightly need - "I can't fall asleep without it" - for a story. He now knows the words to Where the Wild Things Are by heart. These things were daily rituals, even with a wobbly sense of balance and a horrid ability to fall asleep on a whim (thank god for locking doors and hidey holes for keys!), these things were stay-points to our days. I could see past their boredom, straight to their love and beauty.
Past that blur of hurried childhood and running for shoes to go to the creek with dad, past the want to have four apples for breakfast and let the fruit sugar high make them mental for several hours afterward.
Past all that, and in to their beautiful souls.

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Music, and Television....lack of one, loads of the other....

Yesterday I purchased an ipod dock. Yeah, I'm behind, I know. Nevermind, never been a trendsetter anyway!
But we invested in a decent one, as otherwise I could just run the ipod through the laptop in the kitchen anyway, right? I want to hear the music, not regret hearing the music! A tinny, non-balanced music speaker is none to good for me, to be honest, and I'm not even a hifi snob. But I did have requirements - I did Not want a clock on it, I did want it to be little (cos who can find more room even in a massive open plan area, right?), and I wanted it to have clear sound. Not Loud sound, but good and clear. I want to hear the guitar strums, the back up vocals layered on top of each other even when it is 'just' the one guy, strumming and singing me a love song. Those three things were important to me. So I researched, allbeit very hurriedly, and found myself a brand that had a little system that was perfect.
And you know what? The tv hasn't been on all day. If I'm honest, it was because Ethan didn't do as he was asked. But man, he has hardly noticed - could it be the noise in this area of the house maybe? I guess only time will tell...

Monday, August 22, 2011

Still Grateful....

Hey! I've been sick. Sickity sick sick sick. an ear infection landed me quite firmly on my backside for about 10 days, and although the ringing hasn't stopped, I at least am able to stay awake and walk a little way now more than I could even last friday. It's been quite the non-adventure!
So in all that time I've been quite upset that I hadn't been able to post a blog, to be honest. I had quite a lot to be thankful for, too. I have the luck of having a partner that could go and tell his boss I wasn't able to care properly for the kids, and they sent him back home to me! Imagine that?!!! I couldn't drive, could barely stand, if I'm honest, and cooking, cleaning and even hearing the kids was becoming quite difficult. I am so lucky he could do this. There are many places where it wouldn't have been possible, lets face it!
I was sooooooo, sooooo thankful for television, for the first real time ever. The ability to turn on the idiot box, load up a movie or just put on abc for kids, then quite literally 'plonk' the kids in front? That was a pure godsend. I couldn't do anything folks, and both of them weren't well either, so yep, plonkity plonk plonk plonk they went. For about four days I think all they really did was watch tv and eat junk food.
I was thankful for our health system in Australia. Sure, a four hour wait in emergency isn't exactly entertaining. But WE HAVE A HEALTHCARE SYSTEM. The pain in my ear was unbearable. I cannot imagine what this would be like if I lived somewhere where there is not a system at all. Or even where there is just one doctor.
And I was thankful for the abundance in my life. I dunno if I've mentioned it lately, but I have not got a lot of family support here in Western Australia. In fact, without going in to the hairy detail, the family support here that I do have, I don't actually trust enough to lean on (ok, enough said). But I do have an Aunt through the fella's side, and more than that, I have a Jess. My girlfriend Jess is another Godsend. Capital G, this time. She came numerous times, this time and many others, just to help watch the kiddo's so I could attend the ER again, or do stuff, or even just to knit with in the night time. I hope she knows how much that has meant to me. Not having to take two bored kids to an emergency room is a priceless gift. Coming home and having her offer to go and grab some chow so I don't have to cook? Are ya frikkin kidding me? That's just unbelievable. Not to mention all the abundance of things like my stores cupboards, my childrens clothing, and things that just didn't need doing like washing and cooking because I am one well looked after by the universe woman. I didnt wash any clothes for over five days, and we were never at risk of running out of anything, because I am so lucky with the amount of clothing that we all have accumulated over the course of time. It sounds trivial, but it wasn't. It did take a while to catch up on it all, but the thing is I could leave it that long to start with!
Then, as the smog of the pain and the manky ear lifted, I really became thankful for my own energy. I took the pooch on her first walk in a week yesterday, and it was such a blessing. And on sunday we actually took the kids out of the house - out of the suburb even! AMAZING! So then we took them to somewhere beautiful - Point Walter. Thank you!

Saturday, August 13, 2011

Moments, glimpses....beauty....

It's been a loooong week folks. A long one. We have all been sick, with a flu that has really tested everyone's ability to maintain some sort of energy level. So cooped up in the house, sick, tired, and bored, we have been hanging out at home. Oh. My. Goodness. Me, two kids, a dog, and a fenced in attitude.
So today I thought a little retail therapy, and a lotta walking in the son, might do exactly what we need. Give us some sun, a stretched pair of legs each, and the nice fresh lungs would do us good. So we did.
And there were moments where their little hearts and minds were full, and their smiles were real and stretched all over their faces. It was beautiful. Truly gorgeous and beautiful.
And for that, I'm thankful.

Thursday, August 11, 2011


I'm thankful for sleep today. Long, enduring, deep sleep. It only occurred to me the other day that it wasn't so long ago, I would have sold a kidney for a promise of long, enduring and deep sleep. At the beginning of the year, Ethan and Alice were sharing a room, and neither of them slept more than about 2hours at a stretch, and getting them to sleep was swear word and hair tearing out inducing.
But no more. I am lucky. Soooo frikkin lucky, that we are in an income bracket where we have to have health insurance in Australia. Our health insurance made it possible for me to take my kids to a sleep clinic, and the bill? $4000. Yeah, a 4 and then THREE zeros. But because we have health insurance, it was $250. So totally doable. So we went, and in only four nights, I came home with these amazing children I could never have imagined on the way in.
It's while we've all been so sick with this cold (and this cold is nasty, lemmetellya!) that I've become so aware, acutely aware, of how well my children have been able to still sleep. And I'm so thankful for that. Knowing that my gorgeous little Alice will pull herself on to my knee, cuddle up and say "I tired, need a bobble and a ni-nigh", and that Ethan will go and lay down in his room when he's feeling super emotional and wiped out, or at other times come and ask me to grab my knitting, help him put on a movie and sit with him to relax.
It's so good to have children who have learnt to relax. Sooo good. I can remember the days, not so long ago, when they would never have done it. And now I have the skill to know the signs, and they are able to recognise in themselves when they need the rest, too.

Monday, August 8, 2011


Sorry I've been gone all week. Ethan was unwell, truly unwell. A flu took out most of his class.
And now I have it. So I could be another week yet!

Monday, August 1, 2011


The growing ability to see the great things in my children is such a great exercise, and one that I am, if fact, very grateful for.
I can't remember who thought of it - did I, or was it something someone said that made me think of it, I don't know. But in the few weeks that I have been practising this mindful kind of parenting, I think we've all come a little way toward further appreciating one another. I'm more willing to relax about things my kids do and take a gentler road than screaming like a banshee, and they seem more relaxed because of that noise reduction, too, I guess.
The boy in front of me is growing more and more independent each day. One day it was like he needed help picking his clothes out, the next he is nearly reading and writing different things on his own. His brain is growing in ability, he monitors his own behaviour so much more than before, and the love he has for others inspires me to do the same.
The girl, well, she's rapidly approaching two and I can barely believe that it was not far from this age in Ethan that I found out I was having another bub. She is really one easy going kid! Has her fair share of input to our conversations and ideas about how things should go, but generally is happy to go along with the majority.
And for this, and many other things, I am grateful.

Friday, July 29, 2011


I fell off the wagon for blogging each day, and you know why? I forgot, cos I was having so much fun!
But I'm back, and I'm stuffed today, so I have just one line...
I am so sincerely thankful that I am Lucky. It's that simple.

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Thanks for the joy in a dogs heart.....

We finally got to go and grab our new baby today! She's a 3 yr old German Shepherd, and she is ABSOLUTELY FANTASTIC!!!!
I will never again indulge in thoughts of a puppy. We picked up Sasha at 10am, and by 12 we were out walking her with a pram, just me and Alice and her (yeah, how's my grammar, right?!). She toddled along quite happily, not sniffing or dragging, not pulling, not new to a lead and not stopping to have a poo somewhere because she is trained already to wait until she's at home for those needs.
As far as rescue dogs are concerned, somehow I think I manifested the Cadillac of rescue dogs. She's technically not a rescue, she's a breeders dog that just doesn't want to have puppies, and her old owner is a man who seriously loves this breed. He spoke to me about 3 months ago about a dog he was trying to rescue from the pound, and she wasn't suitable for our home. And during that conversation, he mentioned that he had a dog he was currently breeding, but that 'he knew' she was wanting desperately to be in a family where she was the only dog. So I went and met her, and then I took each family member one by one to meet her as well, and well, it's been love at first sight every time.
The fella really struggled with this, because, well, to be honest, he's a little bit of a control freak. He's a fifo bloke (goes away for two weeks at a time and then returns), and he already misses So Much Stuff as it is, and then I found this dog, this dog I was totally sure was The Dog For Us. And he's a bit panicky about it, even still. It's totally slipped his mind that the boy we had for 13 yrs was a dog I'd found, and had to chuck a tanty to get him to agree to, and that Bruton was simply the best dog that not only we'd ever known, but that many other people had ever known as well. But I have to let him have a free pass on the freak-out factor with some stuff, because he just must feel so left out at times. It has got to be hard, being a family man who's away from his family all of the time, to sometimes realise that you don't have the reigns on every factor of life all of the time, even when massive decisions are being made.
So today I'm thankful for the joy in a dog's heart. She's just so relaxed, already. She knows, because, I guess, of the slow transition and because her previous owner was relaxed about us too, that here she is so well off. She's already going from house to car to school to car to house with so much ease I almost feel like I've had her a year. I actually felt so confident this afternoon that I took her to school to pick Ethan up - and got her out of the car (on a short lead, don't need anyone getting knocked over thanks!) and she walked up to the class with Alice and I and just sat and waited her new boy owner. Calm as you like. I swear, she just knows. She's even already learnt to sleep on the designated cushoin-y areas that we've popped around the house - including the one in Ethan's room because, well, he's an animal lover from way back and was quite insistent on this point.
So to evolution, I say thanks. Thanks for this fantastic bond that you have forged between people and dogs, and the dogs heart that you have made amazingly self-assured and loving.

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Learning Curves....

I'm a little bit excited, and think I'm a little bit nuts.
We adopt our dog tomorrow, finally! After a couple months of waiting for her, she will be ready for picking up tomorrow morning after I drop Ethan off at school. Gives me a bit of time with just me and her, (and Alice, of course) without the loudness of a 4 yr old, and with the ability for her to join us on two car rides in one day to give her a taste of what there is still to come. She's going to change my life, in ways I'm sure I'm not yet aware of.
The kids will just blossom under the umbrella of a pet, we all know that. But it is also the companionship, the absolutely unconditional love, and the attention for exercise that is going to change us all.
And for the learning curves still to come, I am thankful.

Monday, July 25, 2011

Honesty....thanks and no thanks!

I am so amazingly impressed each day by the leaps and bounds a 4 year old can make. Well, and a 20month old, but more of that later.
It wasn't long ago that my son would fight, kick and destroy to get his own way. He now walks a bit calmer a path, instead he'll mostly remove himself from an irritating situation, even if it means I've seen him get annoyed and remind him that he has the option to do so. Not that I like him watching loads of tv, but I do like that he has it to turn to when he needs to 'switch off' and relax - I mean, I relax with knitting, blogging and reading, it's only fair he has his methods too, right? So imagine my surprise today when instead of coming out and playing with his friend, he decided to watch tv. Then when he did, and his friend deliberately annoyed him - he just turned and told him outright that what the friend did was annoying, and he wanted his friend to go home.
I was so very embarrassed! But straight up, that's got to be a silver lined cloud, hey? I mean, he didn't kick, scream or yell (not at first, anyway), he told this person what he honestly thought. It was just a bit embarrassing for me, but that doesn't worry him! So today I just have to be very thankful for the ability to toggle between behaviour that is destructive and behaviour that will get the honest truth out in the open.
It just feels like in the space of a week I've gone from having a toddler and a baby to having a child and a toddler....
Alice has gone through an amazing personality change of late - soooo opinionated, so verbal, and so very, very independent! She is fast learning to try and push the point of her own way, with everything from being carried constantly to making me sit with her and do her favourite thing, which is mostly drawing. Her speech, in my opinion, is spectacular! So toddler-ville here we come! Hooray for being a Toddler (and yeah, remind me of that in a couple weeks)!!!

Saturday, July 23, 2011

Thankfulness to the brim....

Running on the foreshore at Emu Point
So I took my lovely little kiddo's on a holiday. All by myself. Yep. Well, nah, really we went and we stayed with a friend of mine from many years ago, so we weren't 'on holiday' alone, which I cannot wait to do when they are older, we instead went to holidays alone. And the hysteria involved in that is quite funny, especially if you tell the right older woman who's never had her car license! But, I loaded the car up with the fella's help on wednesday morning, we dropped him at the airport and we bolted down to the lovely town of Albany. And what an excellent idea it was.
Alice loving pink milk...
The four days away was marked by fantastic company, beautiful food, walks along the beach and forest, and truly fantastic childrens behaviour. Really.
I mean, we stayed with a friend of mine. We all have one of 'those' friends, with the truly amazing and fantastically gorgeous inside and outside child that behaves in every situation and on every level. And when we don't have one of our own, man, visiting those kinds of people with kids can induce its fair share of anxiety. So when we got there, and for the last four days my children not only enjoyed their days, but were a joy for everyone to be with (give or take some shots of reality, folks, they're still breathing in and out, after all, so there is hiccups with the breathing!), I really have come home on a high. They were in love with the surrounds, with the joys of playing as a threesome, and with the pink milk that was served in most places we went.
Ah, I love and am greatful for pink milk. Amazingly indebted to the joy it bought my heart to have my son order his own pink milk and sit in cafes or on the park floors enjoying it, sharing it and blowing bubbles in it.
How beautiful was my holiday, I can barely say....

Tuesday, July 19, 2011


So the kids and I are off tomorrow on a little holiday together. We leave in the morning, and although I'm hoping to write a little, I might not get time because of the change of surroundings and the ability to throw those things out.
So I hope all goes well for the next few days, and I'll be back!
Meanwhile, I'm thankful that I have the opportunity to do this, and that they are now at an age that we can look at travelling so far with some form of optimism!

Sunday, July 17, 2011

Why I Changed my Focus...

Sorry I have been absent a few days. Well, since thursday, I think.
The days are busier when the fella is home. We are more rushed, there is more to do, I guess - I hope, or otherwise I feel busier for no reason!
But I just wanted to say that since I started this change of focus, the way I see my kiddo's has really changed. I've begun looking for the positive in them, but I at first thought I would just find one thing a day - and now I find my brain competing with itself to figure out 'which awesome thing' to write about. It really has changed me from seeing all things as a struggle, to seeing 'most' things as awesome. As amazing parts of thier little personalities. I see what used to drive me nuts, as now being a sign of thier developmental milestones.
And honestly, I think everyone should try it, even if just for two days a week.

Thursday, July 14, 2011


Today was day number 6 of School Holidays....So we were off to circus school with Daddy, who arrived after a very long and exhausting day yesterday.
I love my kids for their enthusiasm. I just adore it. There can just be something, ya know, a bit different hanging in Alice's way, and she asks me in her own way what it is, can't wait to touch, to see what happens. And it's that way with Ethan, too. He's a Racer, this boy of mine. I could say just about anything after "I bet you I can beat you at..." and he's in. Brush teeth? Done. Have a wee? Yep. Clean up toys? Beat you hours ago, mum.
So when he seems shy meeting someone new, I love knowing that it is basically an act and that he's secretly jumping out of his skin ready to say hi, get past the societal faux pas, and get cracking in to any kind of exercise that there is available. I love it. Not having 'that' kid who just won't join in. Who won't smile. I do however, have the kid who gives it what he's got, and only gets embarrassed if "I" am watching and smiling - anyone else is considered an audience, but I am a mere taxi driver, private cheer squad, but I should just watch other kids, I think, if I'm with him somewhere that he's learning something new!
It's the things like that that I love. Knowing he's excited and ready to go, and Alice has caught it like the common cold. That girl is currently enthusiastic about gumboots. She is constantly finding new pairs around the house (there are about four pairs between her and Ethan), getting them on and trying them out. And she never tires of it, loving every minute.
So thank you for the enthusaism.th

Monday, July 11, 2011


Today was the first day of the school holidays. I hate school holidays!!! It's amazing at how quickly I went from being a parent who couldn't imagine a whole day without my son, to now getting all gushy because its the last day of term.
The teachers just keep them so focussed, so calm. Any one can walk past the kindy room at the montessori school and actually wonder if there are even any kids in there - let alone 50 of them split in to two groups!
So, determined not to get all freaked out and stabby-shouty-mama during these next 14 days, I sent off my sons application to circus school. We went today, and it was a blast! He made me so super proud, because all the other mama's were able to stay with thier kiddo's the whole time, but I had Alice-wrangling to do at the same time, and he just soldiered on! Plate spinning, hula hooping, trampoline-rolling, you name it, they did it, and they did it in only an hour. Was Too Cool!
So I'm thankful for coordination today, because he took the whole class in his stride, and I couldn't have been happier!

Sunday, July 10, 2011

Be Kind...

Today was a sunday, and over the last few weeks, on a sunday I've had a babysitter. So this morning when I woke to a text saying she wasn't available, I thought Oh Man!!!
But I decided to continue with yesterday's sponteneity and we rugged ourselves up for the markets, to go and see some chickens, and buy some fruit. It was Sooooo Cooooollllld! The kids had their winter woollies on, and Ethan managed to earn himself $5 doing some house jobs for me (cleaning his room, emptying dishwasher, etc), so he used some of that to get a go on the bouncy castle, which warmed him right up. He had a blast!
Then we jumped in the car with their Aunty and went and grabbed a hot chocolate at the mall (my least favourite place in the world, if I'm honest), and a small snack. Was a great way to burn through a few hours and didn't travel more than about 20 kilometres.
The kids, well I don't know if it's my daily exercise of finding these lovely things about them, or if it's because of the anti-digital status we have during the day, or if it's just that somehow they're calmer, but yeah, somehow, they are now becoming more of a team. Ethan really watches Alice, and they play together so much more now. It's fantastic - sometimes I even manage a decent shower in the mornings!
I found a quote, on Soulemama.com, that said - "Do the best you can where you are, and be kind" by someone called Scott Nearing, and since I read that I have been saying those last two words quite a lot to Ethan and Alice. They understand those two words - Be Kind - so deeply, that if there is any kind of issue between them, it near-instantly melts it. Kindness is all-encompassing, and it can be immediate. You could have just been being a complete tyrant, and the words Be Kind can change the shape of the day. I find, especially with Ethan, the depth of his understanding of the ability to be kind is astounding. And for that, I am both amazed and incredibly grateful.

Saturday, July 9, 2011

Spontaneity....or however it's spelleded...dedd.

Well, it's a dull ol' saturday here, not much going on except me doing the chicken dance with the washing machine (why, oh why, do I leave the laundry all sad and lonely for three days in a row? Have I not learnt a thing as a mama?) And at about 11am I thought to myself .... this isn't gunna look any different in two hours from now, why not just do something else?
So we packed up the sandwiches from a picnic in the park yesterday after school, and went visiting a friend. Then after that Ethan suggested we go to The Train Park. I have no idea what it's really called, but I do know that if I were 4, that place would have some sort of homing beacon to my brain. Imagine a park, with swings, a tunnel, a slide, loooooaaaads of dirt and sand and steps. In the shape of a train. Talk about Freakin' Awesome to the Power of Rad.
And it was seriously only about two minutes drive from where we were. How did he know that? Homing Beacon, for sure.
So yeah, totally undertaking the role of the routine-less mama, we steered the car in the direction of the park and went and played for a bit. Was totally excellent fun, being a train driver, a wayward passenger chaser, a damsel-in-distress rescuer, and a couple other things I really didn't quite understand, but did achieve the proper amount of yelling, laughter and fun out of both kids.
So the spontaneity of my son really struck me. This level of trust that we can just throw caution to the wind and it'll all come out ok. And Alice just really accepted the whole thing as 'what we are doing today'. I felt totally trusted. And totally in love.

Friday, July 8, 2011

Thankfulness...in stages...

Today it occurred to me that my children, like everything else, are turning and stretching out in to this world in stages. They stretch, learn, explore. Look over their shoulder at me, and return to me, exhausted with the journey of learning.
It's my job to be a soft and consistent place to return to. Like a safe harbour for pirates that have explored great depths, found treasure, and then found themselves looking for a warm meal and a lie down.
Today I realised, to my amazement, that this exploration, this learning, comes in fits and starts, of each of them leaving me, either physically or mentally, to go off and learn these new things. These are sometimes things I know, but mostly stuff I forgot (like how to walk along a stone wall while singing Johnny has one hammer) and that's why they go off to do it. They return to me, knowing no matter where they've explored, who they may have met or what they found, I am in the same place, waiting with warm heart and ready arms to rest in.
I am thankful for the ability to do this for my children. The start to life that they've had has shown them where my arms and heart are, how to find me in confusing and tiring times. To have them aware of my all-encompassing love is so important to me, because I want them to know I'm never going to leave them alone.
I'm so glad they know that. I'm glad that when they fall down, they look up for me to help them stand again. I'm glad that in me picking them up, time and again, they never fail to try new things and have new adventures.
This all comes to me because today was the end of term get together for school. We went to the park, and the kids just all hung out, played, got filthy dirty and played some more. Alice is an adventurous girl, but a paralell player, unlike her brother, who could never just sit or explore on his own. She wanders off, speaks to people, 'borrows' snacks from our friends and wanders a happy little way. I've seen her entertain herself for an hour or more at a time, even here at home, with books, puzzles, and babies that seriously needed 'ni-nighs' many times over. And today, she was a happy wanderer around all the school parents, one of which has a puppy. The puppy was fine, until it saw another dog and accidentally knocked her over. To which she just got scared, and a little hurt. Immediately I saw her raise her head her eyes locked to mine, saying "I need you to come here, make me better", and I was over to her in a flash.
Now I'm not the kind of mama that removes a child from their fears. Don't get me wrong, I'm not throwing them on a rollercoaster when they're scared of heights or sudden drops, but I knew the dog had scared the bejeezuz out of her, and I didn't want this to ruin her usual unshake-ability of animals in the big wide world. So we sat, next to the owner, immediately. She was still teary, but the dog settled down and then eventually we got to speaking to the puppy again. I realised that it was me, I had taken her there, she had the confidence to explore and then became hurt. It could have ended badly, but she trusted me enough that when the time came, she found herself loving the puppy again and saying her words of conversation to it. It was a bit moment for me, to learn this about myself!
Because I have stages too, I guess....

Thursday, July 7, 2011

Man, it's been a big day.

But I'm just going to go with it!
Today I am thankful for a fantastic school. My son had a show to put on today, with his whole class, and it was sensational.
Now, I'm off to bed because I'm just exhausted!!!!

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Real Love...

I love enthusiasm. It can be about anything, really. Seeing your eyes light up over a colouring book? Done. Watching the corners of your mouth curl up because you've discovered how to turn a light switch on? I'm all over it.
And tomorrow, my son is aaaalllll over the School Play. It is a Big - nay - MASSIVE Deal. He knows all the lines of the big kids that I will be listening to while he stands still looking like a chef. He's so excited, I think I've learned the lines of the play myself. And did I mention - there is a Powerpoint Presentation? Well, what is a powerpoint presentation, mate? I dunno mum, but there are pictures - of Us! Us schoolkids. It just sounds brilliant, no?
I never, in a million years, thought I would be looking forward to seeing a school play so much. It's all in the theme of people of the community, and in a class that spans ages 3 1/2 to 6, I'm pretty aware that the teacher has deliberately left the more common to stagefright kids like mine with really important jobs like holding the chef's utensils and smiling. Oh, and there will be singing, thankyouverymuch! If I don't crack up when Ethan sings that Australians all have ostriches for they are cute and free, it'll be a good start.
So I am thankful for enthusiasm, about little things and big.
I'm also thankful for milk. Rich, full cream milk that soothes baby girls' throats and gums on days when they're cracking massive big back molars and getting too tired to eat much of an evening meal. I'm thankful that after she has a big ol' bottle of milk, she manages to get her little soul off to sleep, knowing, somehow, that anytime during the night she can roll over, fart, find a dummy and put herself back to sleep. She is just so beautiful.

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

They lead the way.....

Today Alice was bored. She'd had enough of watching me do housework, letting me hang washing, unpack the dishwasher and I dunno, just other stuff. So she came to me with her gumboots. She said 'shox....shoxx mummee' and pointed to her toes. So I got the socks, and put on the gumboots. Then she took my finger, walked me to the front door and tapped on it.
So we went for a walk. All her pace, except for a trip across the road and back. So we got about 200metres from the house, every now and again she'd stop and lean against my leg as if to say "mummeee, we have walked soooo far....mine legs are tired". And then she laid down. On someone elses driveway. A little bit of wee nearly came out, I laughed to hard. So then we walked home. Well, I walked home, carrying her on my hip for most part.
And after school I just sat and let Alice go through Ethan's lunch box and snack while he played. He then came and actually asked me if we could go home. I didn't have to round him up, stop him going off to harrass the school chickens, pick up his shoes, nothing. He'd had enough, he wanted to come home. And we played games and laughed in the car on the way home, just to keep the poor lil exhausted boy from falling to sleep.
When we got home, I'd forgotten to unlock the telly (which he doesn't know about, by the way, so sshhh! He thinks the tv is broken - broken tv = no nagging, locked off tv= whinge at mum til she unlocks it) so he just grabbed his sister, gave her a shovel and then they went out the back for a dig. It was actually harder to stop them and make them come in for dinner at 5 o'clock than it normally is, their synchonicity was so lovely to watch. But the weariness crept in for both of them, the hunger reminded them of the time. So he came in, and got a chair each for them to stand on because tonight was fried rice night, which Ethan cooks for us (all prepared, pre warmed veg etc). Then we sat and all ate together. Well, I ate, they inhaled. Fantastic.
So today I am thankful for children leading the way, being loving on the inside and outside, and fried rice.

Monday, July 4, 2011

This Thankful Day....

I am soooo thankful for modern cloth nappies, I really am. My little Alice is soooo having a poo festival lately, and she is, when I get the quick sneaky chance to look, cutting through her back teeth. So that explains the exodus of poo that I'm currently dealing with about four or five times a day. Luckily for her, she doesn't ever seem to get much pain from it, just wakes a couple of times more than usual during her slepe routine but even then, I have nothing - NOTHING - to complain about with her sleeping! I am such a lucky mama when it comes to her sleep habits. I don't know how much I've shared in the past about Ethan, but he was the worst sleeper in the world. IN THE WOOOOOOOORRRRLLLLDDD!!! Bt this blog isn't about the hard shit, it's about the easy shit.
And Miss Alice, she is one eeeaaasy baby to get to bed. From about 1 she actively has told me when she is tired, and when she wants to go to bed. When we spent the week at ngala, she was the one who, although she did have a quick protest, really did get it so super quick. One night, no protests, no screaming, nothing. Just hand me my bottle of water mum, a dummy in each hand and turn on my glow worm...now, get out and leave me be. So very happy for that.
Ethan is making me thankful today for his amazing ability to articulate his feelings. He is still four, he still chucks the most amazing tanties that anyone has possibly seen in their working day (sorry, librarians who like to keep it to a dull noise level), but boy oh boy does he know how to talk to me about his feelings afterwards. He actually told me yesterday, after a bit of a barney with one of his friends after which I took him home (he had been told the consequence, and chose the route he chose) that 'I feel awful mum, because I really did hurt him and I didn't listen properly and I didnt know what to do about it'. And my heart just opened up to his. I promised him that I would try harder to focus him to help him not hurt others, and to listen real good. He promised kinda the same thing. But my point is, that kid can talk. Really talk. Use shitfuck hard words in the right context and continue a conversation that we were having before school after I pick him up for the day. He has this amazing ability, and I don't know why.
And I love him for it. To the core of my bone marrow, his ability to be verbal is what I am most grateful for today.

Sunday, July 3, 2011

I's all about cuddles and love....

Today I have a date with a babysitter. It's only early in our relationship, but she's so far been faithful to me, and I to her, and well, we're setting ourselves up for a very special bond. It was about four or five weeks ago I saw her ad on a local thread of facebook and part of me just went "Fuck Yes!!!" and I decided to grant myself four hours per week from having my children. She has come three weeks in a row now, on a sunday, and she just hangs out with them, giving them what they need, doing craft and both playing and supervising their play.
It's given me an opportunity to step back, and watch how they interact with others. I'm not in charge of them when the babysitter is here, and to be honest, she is a sitter, she's not a mother, and it shows. She just has this ability to play, unexhausted, and they love it. I came home today from a movie with a friend to find them racing cars along the linoleum, having a ripper of a time. They'd made cupcakes, drew, played outside and made an 'Antactica' out of blankets. They probably did more in those four hours than in the six leading up to it!
So today I want to say thanks for my childrens cuddles. I soooo get exhausted when we're having, as I've heard another blogger say, a shitf*ck of a day, and then now when I have been away from them for a few hours to relax and unwind on my own, when I return they give me unrestrained 'I missed you and am glad you are back' cuddles. They're fantastic.
So thanks, to them, very much.

Saturday, July 2, 2011

Not tonight, luv....

...it's family moooovie night!
God I love family movie night. Especially because it just feels like such a treat, a celebration of the week and a time to hang out with my little guy, just the two of us, when the little girl's gone to bed.
Hope where ever you are, you're having a nice weekend.

Friday, July 1, 2011

Creativity and Expression

Just a quick one today (maybe? don't I usually promise this and then fail big time?!!!), as I've got a couch full of folding to do and although I promised I'd get to this early, I have only just got here.
Today Alice reminded me of one of the most coolest and awesome-est things that babies start to do. They start to speak! Oh, the joy of being able to look in to her little eyes and know what the fuck she is talking about is immeasurable!!!! Sorry, I know I'm meant to be all patient, kind and noble-peace-prize-winning as a mother, but cheese'n'rice I love the relief of when I'm dealing with other humans that I can actually understand in a verbal way. She is a lefty, my girl, and it was only when her first word was "Draw" that I started to realise how much I see that little freakazoid wobbling about in her cloth nappy bearing a pencil in her hand on the search for paper (or a wall, or a toy, or sometimes her hand) and her next artistic high. She will drag - literally drag - her brother to the kids table and get him paper, and point to the pencils and crayons for him to get for them both and then she will sit and just draw. It's sooo cool.
Which brings me to the bigger one. Who I was NOT watching after school while he played in the school playground (which by the way, is awesome to the power of rad as far as even I'm concerned) with his friends. We do this every day or two, just when the kids are picked up we let them hang out and play for half hour or so, get their steam blown off and enjoy some time with their friends. And today it had finally stopped raining enough to let them really go nuts, gumboots on, soggy socks underneath and totally cover themselves in wet sand because heck, its the end of the week and who doesn't like to get stupid on the fun of a friday afternoon?!
So there I was, chatting to another mum when I hear "nnnnnaaaaaaaawwww, your son is so sweet" from said other mum, who's looking over my shoulder. And I look. Well, there he is, helping his little sister up from a tumble, standing her feet firmly on the ground and then he just hugged her tight, whispering some kind of sweetness in to her face with a smile and gave her a gentle smooch on the cheek. I could have fallen over. This must happen so much when I'm not looking I thought! He took on this caregiver role awhile ago, maybe a month. And I always thought it was just a casual hobby, but it was so obvious that he's been fostering these expressions of love for her more regularly than that. She showed no hesitation, no fear of the unknown because it was clear he'd done this enough before that she knew what was going to happen. I was so proud. And I continue to feel proud now, even though it's hours later and they're both sleeping peacefully.
So that's my thankfulness for today. That my daughter is learning to be creative with her little hands, and that my son is learning what expressions he has in his heart, and that showing love for others is an obvious natural extension of who he is.

Thursday, June 30, 2011

Today's Thanks.....

It was a rainy-arsed day today. See, here in Perth, we're spoilt for sunshine. Literally, when it rains, it really isn't something that you even think will hang around long. But today it hung around all day. It was a gorgeous day for getting crap done - groceries, produce and cleaning floors at home. Movie on the hard drive for Ethan and a little copying girl following me around this afternoon.
So it was soooo easy to find my things to be thankful for in my kids today. They spent a lot of time with me, and with eachother, and it was all inside except for the school run (and those pesky errands).
Imagine my delight that this little Alice girl, happy as a lamb on fresh grass, is now fitting in to her gumboots comfortably. So much so, she wears them with everything. Pyjamas, tights, a onesie. It doesn't matter. It's all great. So then when she finds a puddle she is just so adorable. Watching her squee's of delight as she marches back and forth, slapping her boots in the water. So today I'm ever so grateful for her joy.
Ethan, on the other hand, I am thankful for his honest love. He burst out of the classroom today, completely ignoring me and heading for one of his little friends for a cuddle. He calls her 'Porridge' for some reason, but only when it's just those two and he thinks no one can hear him. This amazing friendship has blossomed through this year and last, actually they met in playgroup. I am envious of his ability to have parents that have let their children stay in the same spot so long, how it's enriched his memories and his friendships even at this tender age. And he shows this appreciation through his honest love in each day toward these friends, they play and play and giggle and carry on so much it can take 45minutes to get in to the car after school. But I want him to use up every breath at this age enjoying just being this age. Enjoying the years of being able to wrap yourself, uncomplicated, unbridled and free of self-conscious thoughts in your friends and just acting your age.
That is what I'm thankful for today.

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Join me at the Crayzeee.....

So I've been losing my God Damn Mind a bit of late. It's this mothering gig. It's quite smothering, if I let it be. I get no break. I just get more shit piled on my 'to do' list like I'm some crazed prozac popping happy '40's housewife who just can't get enough of silk stockings, baking for her kids and standing with a cocktail for the husband at 6pm at the door.
Problem is, of course, I wasn't born til the late 1970's, I don't know how to make a man's cocktail, I hate wearing stockings and when I bake, the kitchen needs to be empty of kids or I can lose my mind. So yeah, haven't blogged in a while. But, I decided, with a bit of Calamity Jane's inspiration, to let ya'll know that crazy has a new postcode - and it's right here, some days!
See, I was raised by wolves for the most part. Amanda Blake-Soule is a heroine of mine, but she'd probably be horrified by my meltdowns if she ever heard one, and up until recently I thought I was alone. In fact, until CJ's blog Apronstringz, I was pretty frikkin sure that I was the only freak in the playroom. That all the other stay at home mums had their shit firmly moulded in to a pile and sprayed with scented vanilla to make it not just look good, but to create more atmosphere in the room.
But now I'm starting to realise that I'm not alone. That every mother worth her salt is going to have reactions to the massive changes that mothering brings. That occassionally losing my shit, and then apologising for it, isn't the devils right hand. You see, before I had a family, I travelled far and wide across Australia. Alone. It was just me, the road and a two door daihatsu charade called Tennis that cost me about $800, my fairy cards and my journal and what ever fit in my backpack. I only moved on to attend the next gig for an entire summer of music festivals where I saw such amazing musicians my heart truly soared. And yet here I am, only 7 or 8 years later, and I can barely remember my own name sometimes. So I thought I would put in a couple of tips of my own, of what I do to keep myself from falling in to an abyss of self-loathing and try to stay on top of being a 'good' mum.
First of all, I tell my kids I love them and that I'll see them in the morning when I tuck them in to bed. No matter what, I love that being the last thing I say, especially to my son, each night when I turn out their light. It means to me that I'm looking forward to tomorrow with them, that no matter how today may (or may not have) gone to hell in a hand basket, there is hope for tomorrow, especially considering I can't wait to see them again.
Second, I always try to have something - anything - for us to all look forward to. It doesn't matter if the whole week is a mash of crap jobs and catching up on housework, if I can remind Ethan that on saturday it's family movie night and we get to eat junk and watch a cartoon movie, we're already feeling optimistic. We recently missed the fella's birthday, because he was working. But the day he got back, while he was sleeping off night shift, we made a paper chain of coloured in paper, set the table real nice and made his favourite meals. We'd wrapped his gifts, written in cards and put them as the centrepiece ... then I had to set the timer to stop the kids busting in to the bedroom and yelling 'happy birthday' two hours too early. Ethan had looked forward to it for the whole two weeks his dad had been at work.
Third, I soooooo try to stay away from this evil-doin' internet during the day. It's the devil, ya know. The frikkin devil. This laptop lives on my kitchen breakfast bar, and my daughter has started to cry - actually cry a cry of what sounds like "ooooh, nooooo....you don't look at me when you're on that thing" - when she sees me turn it on. So I've been weaning, slowly, my grip off of the nets during the day especially. And before I know it it's already 5pm and then there's absolutely no point turning it on til they're both in bed anyway (Arsenic hour here is about 4pm til 7pm, every one's tiredness starts to get to them and it's the dinner/bath/bed routine). So as of tomorrow, no computer on during the day at all. I'm even kind of promising myself that I'll check in here when they're sleeping.
And my final thing to do, and also the reason I'm planning on checking in here at least every couple of days for a while, is that I need to remember I love my kids. I really do love them. There's no one else on the planet that I feel this way about, no one else that could be locked in a house with me that I wouldn't chew the heads off after this much testing and pushing. I love them like nothing else that has ever touched my life. And the focus of this blog from hereonin is to focus on at least one loveable thing that has happened from my kids that day. To tell you about it, even pop a picture in if I have one. So here goes....
Today Ethan came out to the kitchen with his new little cups and saucers, asked me to hand him down the drinking chocolate (Milo) and proceeded to grab out the milk. There were two cups, and two saucers, and he made himself and Alice a cold chocolate milk in these tiny little cups. That little boy, so utterly four years old, without prompt or hesitation, made them each a little drink, served it and made it with love.
And I can't even remember teaching him that.
That's what I love about him so much - his compassionate heart. It's almost like he knows how good life is, and doesn't want any one or any thing to miss out on his good life. So cold chocolate milks in tiny cups on saucers for everyone to celebrate.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011


Hello! Well, the day has flown by and I feel I've done a gazillion things and none of which I can remember! Well, there was the three loads of laundry done and hung by school drop off, the vegie/fruit/bread/milk shop, the changing of sheets on beds, the baking of a slice and a batch of cookies and the preparation of a lasagne. Thank goodness for dishwashers, as I've already filled and emptied mine twice. And no, not with stuff I could have just rinsed, but yeah, different things and lots of them!

I'm just sitting with a cookie from said batch, and a coffee, and mulling over my day's achievements and the addition of energy to my motherhood mojo that I've been feeling these past few days. The fella's home, but I don't think that's got to do with the change in mood, I think it's more the decision made to just get up and get on, to be honest.

Since making the decision to actually Do The Stuff That Needs Doing, I've had that feeling of achievement return. After that, a little bit of happiness returned because of the achievements. Then some pride at the achievements fuelled my joy, and I feel back on the mend.

I've hit the kitchen again, determined to play Beat the Pantry. Beat the Pantry is a great game to play if you are strapped for cash, want to pretend you are, or just want to clear the pantry before the next big stock-up. It works exactly how it sounds - your job is to Beat the Pantry by emptying her out as much as possible before you have to go and get more stores (either at pay day, or when ever you normally do it). I do it to delay the inevitable massive shop that usually comes as a result of my cycle of storing up and then purging the pantry and I love it. I often find something that I got (like Lemon Chicken recipe base) that completely surprises me and I look forward to cooking. It's also a great way to remember how many Actual Ingredients we have and how much I now can make really from scratch.

Anyway, enough blabbering for the moment. I've really got to go and do something else, because there is still another pile of something somewhere, like all the time!

Monday, February 21, 2011

Knitting, For Beginners like me.

I got a message a while back asking about knitting, for a beginner who knows how to cast on, cast off, and not do much in between. Well, to be honest, I'm not the world's best knitter, just about everything I make has raging flaws in it but I try! My best advice to anyone is to go and join Ravelry immediately and search the pattern and forum databases to join a great community. I got all the best of my patterns there, some free, some not, and I love it. I've also met some wonderful people since joining, as it seems that there is no group so tight-knit!

So I hope that helps. I'd love to go in to more detail, but the babies are corralling the wagons and ready to commit some breakfast time to their tummies!

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Getting back up on the money train...

Ok, so years ago if you had have wanted to, I would have been all over a quantam physics conversation about manifesting your wildest dreams like a fly on crazy string. I really loved that stuff, loved reading peoples cards for them, loved actually doing a whole lot of writing for people about the things that 'came through' about them and how they could best go forward if that's what they wanted. And then I became an amazing bahhumbug on it when I attended a couple of psychic shows and met other volunteers who were a little too grabby-handed for my liking. It really stained my view, and I retreated and became a real bitchy-mc-whingerton on the whole money and spirit thing. I still have my cards, I still look at them and want to do a reading for myself, and for others if they'd ask, but I don't put it out there.

And then last december, I bought a copy of a book called Harmonic Wealth. I read the first 50 or so pages, desperately trying to find a way to keep our son in his school that I really like (and he loves) the philosophy of. Like a lightning bolt, the fella got a raise of exactly the amount of money needed to fund that school only about a week after I started reading it. And then guess what I did?

I put the book down.

I know right? What a complete dickhead. Why haven't I picked it up again? Why? I don't know. Fear of the possibilities is all I can think. I am amazingly, stupidly afraid of what could happen to me if I just pull my fingers out of my ears, stopped yelling "lalalalalala" out loud and just listened to my spirit.

If I can manifest greatness in to my own life - so far the outcomes from my previous efforts have been pretty damn good - then why do I stop myself? Seriously, I would want to headbutt someone if they were pissing and moaning about their own life the way I sometimes do, and then hear that They Know They Can Change It, and then they do nothing about it.

So here I stand, hat in hand and on my knees... I am going to concentrate on the following parts of my life, and when they come up and change, I am going to be grateful.

  • I'm going to manifest time for myself, including a babysitter for my kids on a weekly basis, and time for reflection/meditation/journal writing each night
  • I'm going to manifest good health and weightloss for myself, including time each day to take the kids for a walk so they can't outrun their mama no more
  • I'm going to manifest wealth, real monetary wealth, in to our home by spending on the stuff that we need and investing in quality items
  • I'm going to manifest time here, on my blog, to both celebrate and share my angst about my goals and achievements
  • And finally, I'm going to manifest time to get back in to reading those cards and writing it all down for other people, because it was something I used to love.
So that's the start of it. This blog is going to be my journal, at least periodically, with the beauty of screaming in to the cyber world, I'll feel heard, and funnily enough, not violated about it.

Ok, boots on metaphorically speaking. It's time to dig that book back out and go get me some motivation!

Monday, January 24, 2011

I'm a bit naughtry....
So I ran away on holidays, and I ended up having all this by the time I got back...!