I did a good thing this week, and I want to brag about it. My son and I spent a couple of hours a couple of days this week cooking food for my partner's grandparents, and then this morning we took them a big soft eskie full of lovely and nutritious food. I know it was lovely, because I tasted it! So simple, it cost us nothing but our time, and I feel like we have helped in a small way to take the burden off of Pop as Nan is very unwell and unable to cook.
So we've been busy, and that's our excuse to give you for not writing for a couple of days!
I've made my next conscious decision. I am making my son more aware of my love for him. I have been feeling like I'm really not a very good mum a lot of the time lately. My job means that I'm always focussing on the other childrens' well being and comfort and happiness and putting his a very close second every day. I see him as much more capable and adaptable, even though he is only two and a half, because the other children I mind are not as old or as well-developed as him (now how do you say that more in a politically correct way?), or they are much more socially-anxious. So this week I made a decision to close a part of my business - that which focusses on the smaller children - and only do that which allows me to spend most of my day on focussing on him.
Every thing has almost magically fallen in to place, as if the pot stirrers of the cosmos have been waiting for me to make this decision for quite sometime. As soon as I consciously made the decision to change focus (that was basically that I was sick of making my son feel like he was a second-rate citizen in his own home), I had a phone call from someone that turned my business focus completely. Basically, without giving too much personal detail, I can now work for half the time in hours and still make the same money plus a little more. I will have my days free to spend doing what ever my son and I see fit, exploring and having fun, and then work two nights a week with him right by my side.
This will work until the baby arrives in November, when I hope to take a little time off and expand our family and relax, and then I can restart, all going well, when ever I am ready.
So the focus this week is on our home, and our son. My partner is home in only a couple days, and we are taking our son to do as many fun things as possible, letting him lead the way for once and guide our sense of fun himself. I hope that once our little holiday is over and we find ourselves back working again, that the new found centre of our attention works for us to help build a better family life.