Well, not able to sleep again....

Good morning fairy cyber land! I've been awake about an hour and a half...and counting. It's D-Day here, the final countdown. The day when I become a mother of TWO. Holy cow.

I have the most amazingly generous friends and family really. I'm very lucky. Last night we had arranged for friends to come up and spend the night with us in preparation for today, as our friend Nat is looking after Ethan today. She's fantastic - if anything a bit TOO fantastic! Ethan carries on like it's a day at the fair when she's around!!! So we've clued him in to the fact that he'll be spending today doing a couple of 'Very Important Things' with his Auntie Nat, and dropping me at the hospital, then letting daddy come back and help mum get the baby out, then he'll be wrapping the baby a present and coming to meet her later on today. I have absolutely no doubt that he'll carry on a beauty when his dad leaves to meet me in the hospital later, but that it will last about five minutes, he'll make sure that the show was a really good one and then keep playing with Auntie Nat all day.

Aside from that, I'm a bit nervous. I know there are people out there, in the world, who had no doubt that they would have a huuuuge family, that they knew how their life-path was going to go and worked really hard to make it all happen properly, following role models, parents and friends and family throughout their lives to see 'how it's done'. But not me. I was never going to really ever have children, or settle down. I was a gypsy travelling lady, moving my way from place to place and never letting myself get bored of the ho-hum of a job or a lifestyle for more than a year at a time. But that all changed about four years ago, when Ethan's dad and I reunited and settled down in to our own home. Now look at us! We're about to become a family of FOUR!!!

I'm nervous for my partner, because he's never spent a whole big chunk of time with Ethan before. Like most two-year olds, Ethan spends most of his time with his mum, at home, while daddy is away at work. When daddy's home, I say that I cease to exist unless it's a mealtime or Ethan has hurt himself or something similar, but even then I'm mostly here and there on adventures with them both. But not for the next few days at least. I guess I shouldn't be overly dramatic, as I am not as nervous as I sound - yesterday Ethan got his daddy to make him some noodles, which he did, and then they proceeded to share them straight out of the jug. So I kind of thought straight away - "this place is going to be the man-cave for the next week!" - because they're going to be doing all that gross boy stuff that us mother's Never Allow. Like eating with out a bowl, leaving the toilet lid and seat up, and not soaking dishes....not to mention wiping our hands on our clothes, throwing snails on the roof and sharing icecream with the dog. And that's just the stuff my partner will do!

So today I'll meet my baby, which I am getting to be a bit excited about. It will be a better day tomorrow, when the operation has worn off and I'm able to shower and go to the toilet without a bag attached to me, and then the fun will really begin for us all. I have prepared as much as possible, and will finish all this this morning with the packing of bags for myself and getting a bit of fruit ready for Ethan and daddy to bring me this afternoon. After that, who knows? The great big new horizon for us all!