Just another day...

Well how's the cyber world going today? Ticking along nicely I see!

In my world, there is a new addition to the garden family - a lemon tree! She was only $12 at the farmers' market last sunday and she's just so darn cute I can hardly wait. She's got one massive lemon on her, but I'm relatively sure I won't be harvesting it because of the unfortunate need for white oil to help with the leaf disease she had. But although I'll be foregoing that one lemon, she already looks a million bucks compared to before, and judging by the local gardening centre's prices I saved about 50% on buying her from the farmers' market!

I'm heading down there again tomorrow, and hopefully will find a nice chilli to add to the front potted managerie. I'm keen as mustard to get a little vegie/herb garden stock on my front verandah, as the regulations that I'm under in my home-based business stop me from growing a few things out the back, and the German Sheperd happily would take care of trampling the rest. So until something can be done about keeping the animals and the toddlers away from a vegie patch, I'm doing all I can.

Anyway, I'm just stopping by quickly before heading to youtube.com to learn - somewhat- how to crochet! Have a nice lazy sunday everyone!

Training your braining

So it's been such a busy couple of weeks, instead of updating my blog I've been updating my sleep! We're in the middle of some sleep training with Ethan, who finally agreed to stay in his own bed last night, even if it was only because I hopped in as well, I don't care. I didn't stay in there, and as a result he woke every couple of hours and came and got me, but I did wake up without toddler size 8 feet on my head, so that was nice.

I've been taking on some personal challenges this month. The first is to declutter and organise the house for both when the baby comes and for before my sanity completely melts down! We do have a large house, but at the same time it's a 3bedroom 1bathroom jobbie, and storage is at a premium. So day by day I have been tackling things including finding no less than 4 nappy boxes full (by the time I packed them, that is) of clothes and shoes that no longer fit Ethan in his room. So I've been slowly doing those jobs, room by room taking away the things we haven't used in so long or that we no longer require. It's been quite spiritually cleansing, not to mention exciting!

I've been putting my crafty items to one side, and soon (when my hubby's home and I have a lifting person) my office will become a haven of self-indulgence! I will be able to take out my sewing machine full-time and actually practice using it. I like to trick myself in to thinking that one day I'll be as good at fancy work as my hubby's grandmother, but we'll see! I'm desperate to start trying out crochet, and even bought a hook, but somewhere between the op shop and home it went missing and I'm taking that (and the fact I still haven't finished my knitted blanket yet) as a sign that I should wait a bit until I've got some more time.

Anyway, just a shortie to let the cyber world know i'm still alive and kicking. And I hopefully will be back sooner rather than later, but man is my job list long now that there's only a little over 3 months to go until the new addition arrives!

Do I have a good life?

Do you enjoy your life every day? Do you find that you live in a utopia of amazing-ness where nothing ever needs dealing with because nothing ever goes wrong? Do you find that you are surrounded by people that agree with absolutely everything you say and do and never have a differing opinion or a different way of life?

I don't. I think life is managed, that it is more fun as a rollercoaster than it is as a slow boat ride with no waves, and I like it. I am not saying I am searching for drama to enhance my enjoyment of the moment. Quite the opposite in fact. I search for nirvana everyday, in normal activities like watching my son Ethan enjoy riding as fast as he can along the pavers, and watching our personal debt slow down to a trickle instead of a flood.

My friends, my true and beautiful friends know who I am, are not afraid to ask who I used to be, and are interested in who I intend to be in the future. We have differing opinions sometimes, we go long periods where we are all too busy to scratch, let alone share a coffee and chat. But my true friends, both that I've had for years, and those I've only met since Ethan came along, seem to take the ups and the downs with the same ebb and flow I do.

No one enjoys the downs, but most people have been there, no? They know how to support you and how to hold you up. They know to dance when you're re-awakened, and not jump on your headstone when you are down. These are the people, these lovely supportive and judgement-less people, that I dedicate my thoughts to today. I've had a shock this week, in hearing through a third party how terrible my life is according to someone I thought was at least a close acquantance. And I need to get over that, so thanks for the rant.

To go and discover new things...

Like where the heck is Susie Homemaker? I've been searching for her all week, and I just can't find my inner susie!

I've got a new project to start, as soon as my knitted baby blanket is finished. I'm going to try making my own dishcloths, using the time to learn new stitches along the way. But like I said, my inner susie is hiding most days, and I only find time to knit at night if I'm lucky! I got the idea from down--to--earth and am trying very hard not to beat myself up over my lack of time organisation. Right now, for instance, I really should be off and organising dinner, because I am making a lasagne and I like it to 'sit' for at least a couple of hours. I also would love to put on some biscuits for Ethan, who's been begging me for some all morning and is now asleep. His evil mother doesn't buy biscuits from the supermarket like other mums (actually, she doesn't buy alot of things that the other mums do, and he looks in their refrigerators with amazement when ever we visit our neighbours!), she makes them from scratch, and he seems to enjoy both the making and the eating processes!

I have a recipe for checker biscuits, which I'm pretty sure is from Delia Smiths book "Frugal Food" or "Destitute Gourmet", and I think they'd give him a real kick. I'm not a real big fan of lots of sugar, and without wanting to sound like a hippy mother on a soapbox screaming obscenities about additives, it sure is an ugly coincidence that every time Ethan puts something with a number in his tummy he turns in to a pretty hideous beast and can't stop himself but to have more, more, more mummy! I find that with homemade recipes at least, he might still want a few biscuits, but the only additives he's having are sugar, and usually coconut and maybe cocoa. They satisfy his newly found love of sweet things, and I know how long I can freeze the spares for and only give him access to a couple a day.

Any way, better go and try stir up my inner Susie Homemaker. The husband got home from work today, and lasagne is not just a favourite, but something he assures me that I do better than anyone who's ever made it on a camp worksite, so I better whip one up before he awakes from nightshift to find that Old Mother Hubbard has demonically possessed little Susie Homemaker and there's nothing for dinner!

A quiet end (and beginning)...

Well, a wise person once said 'ask and you shall receive'. I have now been praying (and mind you, I'm about as much the praying kind as I am the marrying kind) for a while for something to come up and release me from the toddler-heavy workload that I was under. It was eating away at me that my own son Ethan's well being and spirit were sufferring, that he wasn't feeling like he was part of his own home any more. Well, starting next week I trade toddlers for schoolies and even though my hours will be far less my pay will be more.

I have had a brief look in to my future over the last two weeks, as I was too unwell to take the other peoples' toddlers in to care and it was just me and my son, so I got a nice look in to the future of my days of working. His behaviour improved remarkably and seemingly instantly, and so did my demeanour too, I might add. I was no longer stressed about my son hurting or rushing past any other children, I wasn't getting upset because parents didn't seem to care about milestones that I was concerned about. It all just melted away.

I think our relationship (mine and my son's) actually benefitted amazingly from that little break, and that it will continue to grow as the next few months see us able to spend a lot more time without other peoples' toddlers around, and before the baby is due. I already have plans of how I will spend our days together, involving his huge interest in cooking, in the great outdoors and in wildlife. We have quite the stockpile to build, with the baby coming and christmas looming, so lots of guests to have stores for and we even found two pantries to put them in, amongst all our newly appreciated freezer space as well. I am starting to talk to my friends already on how to support my little man when the baby comes, especially in the hospital where the catch phrases will be that 'they came here to see you, but you weren't here yet!' or 'thank goodness you got here in time to see my Ethan, he was about to leave me to go home and have lunch!'. I am determined that if I've learned anything over the past year of looking after other peoples' children, it is that I'm not going to treat him like he comes after them ever again. It was breaking his heart, and mine, but now we're friends (and allies when it comes to catching tadpoles) again....

It's been a sick week.

Sorry for the lack of updates this week, but my son and I came down with some sort of lurgy. I'm on the mend again, but he isn't just yet and has a nasty cough that keeps us all up all night. So just a brief hello and a see ya, as I've just got him to bed and am dddddyyyyyiiinnng for a cuppa sweet tea to help me feel human again.

Oh, but if you're looking for a book to read, try Timeless Simplicity, by John Lane. I borrowed it from my local library, so am sure you could too.

Have a nice night!

Lucky Me!

I don't know why, but I'm feeling very optimistic lately. I can feel a good change coming on. My son and I are both cursed with the dreaded lurgy, with all kinds of orifices drooling and the constant sound of sniffing, but aside from that it is like the half-decent weather has bought a change in attitude with it.

I am starting a new job in two weeks, and working half the hours for twice as much money. I knew it would happen, and it will save my purse, but when everything finally clicked I was a bit shocked at how easy it has been. I'll be able to work the job up until I have the baby, then continue as much as I feel comfortable with it, which is just so 'The Secret' I feel spooked by it all a little bit! We will, to a certain degree 'have our house back' from daycare, and that instantly brightened the outlook for me and my partner, as it means the stresses of never having a spare room are gone at least until we decide together again to use it for business purposes later down the track, if ever.

We have started to really sort out our finances, and branch out in to unchartered territory where we will over time save a lot of money. It's not something we dive in to willy-nilly, the whole financial world hurts our grey matter a bit, but we did a little research and decided to make an offset account for a loan we have and if we really, really knuckle down we can knock lots and lots of years off our personal debt. So that has made us both smile!

Anyway, I just wanted to pop in and say hi to all that lurk and linger, and re-assure my own self that I am still going to do this blogging thing for quite sometime. It's like talking in your head, but the room is much louder, and hopefully some other voices will be popping up eventually!

Oh My Goodness!

I'm feeling like I've achieved nothing today. I mean, I started out well this weekend, I had my trusty list, which was being dilegently ticked off as I went, and then this morning after the the markets, it all fell in a heap.

I had to meet a friend for brunch. Which we were so late for it ended up as lunch. Which was so deliciously filling that when my son and I got home we eagerly slept off until 3pm! So I am only forgiving myself because I am, after all, 22 weeks pregnant and last night I only got about 5 hours sleep because I was up trying to sort out some fancy budget software until midnight. I decided to stick with my not-so-fancy pink diary after all that!

So since we got home this afternoon, or should I say got out of bed this afternoon, we have visited a neighbour and then came home and had dinner. I've had a bit of a go at housework, but with no playgroup tomorrow I can cross my fingers that I'll catch up a little bit in the morning, and honestly thank modern inventors for dishwashers, that has saved me time tonight and will save me more tomorrow!

So it's bound to be a busy week. My partner's home from work, and the week of fantastic self-indulgent holidaying around the house will begin! We find out more about the baby this week, hopefully, and I'm still tossing up whether to find out the sex or leave it as a surprise. Either way, it's bound to be a great week, and I hope you have a great week too.

Big Days of Helpful Ways....

I did a good thing this week, and I want to brag about it. My son and I spent a couple of hours a couple of days this week cooking food for my partner's grandparents, and then this morning we took them a big soft eskie full of lovely and nutritious food. I know it was lovely, because I tasted it! So simple, it cost us nothing but our time, and I feel like we have helped in a small way to take the burden off of Pop as Nan is very unwell and unable to cook.

So we've been busy, and that's our excuse to give you for not writing for a couple of days!

I've made my next conscious decision. I am making my son more aware of my love for him. I have been feeling like I'm really not a very good mum a lot of the time lately. My job means that I'm always focussing on the other childrens' well being and comfort and happiness and putting his a very close second every day. I see him as much more capable and adaptable, even though he is only two and a half, because the other children I mind are not as old or as well-developed as him (now how do you say that more in a politically correct way?), or they are much more socially-anxious. So this week I made a decision to close a part of my business - that which focusses on the smaller children - and only do that which allows me to spend most of my day on focussing on him.

Every thing has almost magically fallen in to place, as if the pot stirrers of the cosmos have been waiting for me to make this decision for quite sometime. As soon as I consciously made the decision to change focus (that was basically that I was sick of making my son feel like he was a second-rate citizen in his own home), I had a phone call from someone that turned my business focus completely. Basically, without giving too much personal detail, I can now work for half the time in hours and still make the same money plus a little more. I will have my days free to spend doing what ever my son and I see fit, exploring and having fun, and then work two nights a week with him right by my side.

This will work until the baby arrives in November, when I hope to take a little time off and expand our family and relax, and then I can restart, all going well, when ever I am ready.

So the focus this week is on our home, and our son. My partner is home in only a couple days, and we are taking our son to do as many fun things as possible, letting him lead the way for once and guide our sense of fun himself. I hope that once our little holiday is over and we find ourselves back working again, that the new found centre of our attention works for us to help build a better family life.

Conscious Decision Making

I don't know if I am just floating aimlessly and purpose-lessly through out my life sometimes, but it often feels like I go for days without making any real decisions about who or what I am. Today I made the decision, however ironically, that these days need to be fewer and further between.

I can see often that I am surrounded by an endless sea of mindless chatter and disrespectful consumerism, which only vaguely hides the rampant competitiveness of the people I know. It drives me crazy to hear women (only in this example!) sitting in a cafe mindlessly comparing their latest plastic conquests of toys that aren't enriching anything to do with their lives and then following that up with a tick-a-box of the faux-benefits of these said items when basically all it boils down to is often a need to get their offspring over to another part of the home so that they can return to more rampant consumerism in their homes. I had become one of these women, not so long ago, with an awful penchant for 'just nipping down the shops' and buying crap I didn't need or even really want. I felt like a freed witch the day I found the broom I needed to fly away from that dragon, leave my consumer ego behind and free my mind to other endeavours.

But alas, as with all non-fiction stories, it hasn't so much met a happy ending just yet. I still find myself with an awfully long to-do list of things that aren't getting completed, or sometimes even attempted, and although I only know the guilt of a non-catholic, the monster creeps up on me every day to remind me how lazy I can be.

So here I am. Bare bones, heart on sleeve saying that I have finally let my pregnant brain achieve one or two small milestones this evening. I have done some housework (put on laundry, the dishwasher and folded clothes), and returned to update this here blog. I one day would love a shiny, picture-of-our-lives blog that is beautiful to the eye, but while I am running a business such as I am from home, I haven't often got time to scratch myself until nightfall, and then I am sometimes too tired to even achieve that! My big achievement for today though, is that I finally remembered to mix my laundry detergent with bicarb soda! I know, I know, a very small feat, but one that hopefully extends the life of my washing powder and also lessens the need for a pre-wash every single time.

I'm taking time tonight also to write my to-do list for next week. It is going to be rather huge, as I'm taking the week off of working from home to well, um, work in my home and get it to a nice pretty point where I can feel like my mind is less clouded. I have clutter in every dark corner, and the need to clear my home for extra children each day is not helping me sort things out - there is a need for bar stools to be stored in the foyer during the week and not at the breakfast bar, and also a need for a second sofa in an already cramped playspace for children 'just in case' they are tired from too much play. So some clutter is going to have to be re-thought, and others just re-assigned to charity, friends in need and well, hopefully not, but the recycling depot.

So off I go, to begin my list...so long as I can find a pen on that breakfast bar and don't get swallowed in to the abyss of thoughtlessness once my bottom touches the couch!

A more 'bothered' post!

Well, apologies for my absence of contributions to the net dialogue over the last months and weeks!

I have had a real feeling of not-being-botheredness these last months, and I am determined to drag myself out of it at speed. I hope that my lack of indulgence in the thoughts in my own head are not contagious, and that your own blogs are fantastically running free and wild. There have been a few reasons, of which I'll whine about for a moment or two, for my absence.

I've had a shocking time trying to enjoy what I do for a living. My day care business is currently very slow, due to the upcoming baby, and the children I have are a little difficult. One in particular - my own! - has decided that he no longer needs naps because he is such a big boy. Well guess where that big boy is right now? Yep, that's right, he's asleep because he snuggled in to my lap about a half hour ago and fell silently to sleep. Poor lil bloke, he's coming down with a little cold and the coughing is really taking it out of him.

Another thing is that the doctors' were afraid that my pregnancy wasn't going well. They combined blood and scan results and decided they were concerened. They have still got no idea what their concern was about, but in the end a lovely lady doctor at the antenatal clinic told me to go home, not worry and not show up for a scan until I was 22weeks and then everything will be huge and they'll be able to see if there is anything to be concerned about. She still thinks that there is nothing to worry about! So with that in mind, I had a break to see my favourite girlfriend before she moves too far away to get to and relaxed for a week and did not a lot! The baby is now very active and kicking and all sorts, and I keep thinking that any day now my son will be laying or sitting on me and ask me why my tummy just kicked me! HE's very aware that there is a baby coming, in his own two year old way, and has already informed me that it's a baby sister, and that she will be sleeping in his room and getting cuddles, so that is great.

I am really starting to plan my new baby's and my current baby's lives after november is here. We've taken delivery of our nappies, and I'm pretty sure that the parcel post card left this morning is from the one-size-fits-most covers I ordered online last week. Aside from going in on a full-scale re-usable nappy adventure, I'm also starting to make my own cleaning products, and am thinking of starting a little home business based on it. Then again, to avoid having to actually do anything resembling work every again, I'm thinking of doing just about anything that I can complete with children in tow, so if you have a valid idea that doesn't sound dodgy then let me know!

I am stockpiling any freezable food items and also wearing my partner down to letting me get in some extra pantry cupboards (linen cupboards in other words - I'm not fussy!) so that while I have an income I can stock up on as many things as possible. My local markets are amazing with being able to buy in bulk and then preserve things like tomato sauces and lemons and the like - so I'll be doing a lot of that once I have the storage space to sort it out safely.

My home cooking is taking a fantastic turn for the better - I've been on a soup frenzy this month and have created many different types, with my favourite so far being a blend of an off-the-top-of-my-head cauliflower and potato and bacon soup that I intended to put some of in the freezer for another day. Turns out, the 'another' day was the next day for lunch, it was so yummy!

The recipe -

Half a very big Cauliflower
Two handfuls of bacon pieces
A Handful of sliced leek
Four peeled and diced potatoes (or about three handfuls!)
A litre of chicken or vegie stock.

I slow fried the leek and diced bacon until the leek started to soften, then added the potato and cauliflower. I continued the slow frying for about 5 minutes to let the vegies break down a bit and absorb the leek and bacon juices (I have pretty good non-stick cookware, so you might want to add some olive oil at the start if you dont!). About five minutes in I added the stock and let it simmer really low for about half an hour. That was it. It wasn't too flashy, and the herbs weren't added because I wanted a true taste of cauliflower to come through. It was delish!

I'm trying to stockpile a lot more soups, because my partners' Nan is very unwell and I want to do a frozen food drop off to her and Pop. I know she's not eating much, so I would really feel stoked if I could take them about three or four yummy soups ready to just throw in the microwave and heat. So fingers crossed I haven't made anything too full on for them!

Anyway, I'd best be off to start peeling the blankets off that lil bloke and waking him up, or he'll be awake all night! Hope you all have a lovely week and that I'll have the opportunity to write again within the next 48 hours.

Feeling Unwell...

Today this little guy and I are having a day off. It's already 3pm, but so far we have achieved not much more than vaccuuming the floor and playing with a balloon...the deal was that I blew it up, handed it over, and he let it go. Much to his delight!

It's been such a lovely day spent together, doing nothing. So far we've watched tv, which we never do during the day, but the little guy has found a love for Elmo, so that was fun to dance to. Then we've drawn and done the dishes, then had some leftover soup for lunch, then had a nap (me too, I'm feeling very ordinary...). Since getting up he's eaten just about everything he can find, and seems to be in good spirits.

Our bio liners arrived today, so the Cushie Tushie nappies will be in full use as of tomorrow. We only bought a trial pack of 3 though, so hoping that I can alternate days of cloth and disposables until the baby beehinds arrive closer to the end of the month. But the transition is beginning!

I can't just keep eating....can I?

Hello lovely people. I'm sorry that this post is not taking much shape, and that it's just really going to be a one-liner, but I've just popped in to say I feel sick.

Very, very sick.

I'm quite sure noone in the world has had morning sickness like this before.

And if they have, they would be best to keep it to themself.

I costantly feel like throwing up or having food. The food eating calms my stomach from feeling like I'm on a boat. Then the food digests and the feeling returns.

And no, not just in the morning.

I have a beautiful butternut pumpkin in the kitchen waiting to be made in to soup, and if the good pregnancy fairies would just come and cook it for me I'm sure I'd feel much, much better.

This is the pregnancy fairy I would like to think...she came from this site

Scuse me, I'm off to feel sorry for myself over a bucket...

I am soooo tired.

I can't stay awake. Well, I can. I just would prefer to sleep, especially for a couple hours during the afternoon.

Yep, congratulations ladies and gentlemen, we are pregnant. With number two. Oh lordy, how much I forgot about our first trimester and the tiredness of it all...I'm not really feeling sick, unless nerves count, but I am craving, just as before, sausages, hamburgers and ham. It's terrible. I am trying very hard not to be tempted at all though. And trying to cut back on coffee. But who in god's name can cut back on coffee and work a 10hr day with four kids under two years old?!!!!

zzzzzzzzzzz anyone care to wake me in week 12?

The family don't know, only a couple of girlfriends, the significant other, and our doctor. And the planning in my head has already begun. If its a boy, we won't need to buy anything at all aside from nappies and cross the fingers my boobies work as well this time as they did the first, because then we won't need formula. If it's a girl, we won't really need to buy anything either, because I've plenty of friends' with girls who are lining up to give their stuff away to someone who did the same for them when they had thier little ones.

So that's my news, and my excuse, as to why I've been so absent of late. Please take it easy on me, and rub my back while I have a little rest.....

What a Beautiful Day!

The sun really is shining. The clouds really are fleeting. The kids aren't sleeping, but they are relaxing in their beds, so that will do! I am feeling inspired and very, very happy with my savings efforts this far.

I am determined to move some items around the house today, mainly to give myself room to sew and start to make items for xmas and presents for birthdays if I get enough stock up. I also would love, love, love to teach myself quilting and make them and bags to sell to people - just like this ....

That would make me very, very happy!