A quiet end (and beginning)...

Well, a wise person once said 'ask and you shall receive'. I have now been praying (and mind you, I'm about as much the praying kind as I am the marrying kind) for a while for something to come up and release me from the toddler-heavy workload that I was under. It was eating away at me that my own son Ethan's well being and spirit were sufferring, that he wasn't feeling like he was part of his own home any more. Well, starting next week I trade toddlers for schoolies and even though my hours will be far less my pay will be more.

I have had a brief look in to my future over the last two weeks, as I was too unwell to take the other peoples' toddlers in to care and it was just me and my son, so I got a nice look in to the future of my days of working. His behaviour improved remarkably and seemingly instantly, and so did my demeanour too, I might add. I was no longer stressed about my son hurting or rushing past any other children, I wasn't getting upset because parents didn't seem to care about milestones that I was concerned about. It all just melted away.

I think our relationship (mine and my son's) actually benefitted amazingly from that little break, and that it will continue to grow as the next few months see us able to spend a lot more time without other peoples' toddlers around, and before the baby is due. I already have plans of how I will spend our days together, involving his huge interest in cooking, in the great outdoors and in wildlife. We have quite the stockpile to build, with the baby coming and christmas looming, so lots of guests to have stores for and we even found two pantries to put them in, amongst all our newly appreciated freezer space as well. I am starting to talk to my friends already on how to support my little man when the baby comes, especially in the hospital where the catch phrases will be that 'they came here to see you, but you weren't here yet!' or 'thank goodness you got here in time to see my Ethan, he was about to leave me to go home and have lunch!'. I am determined that if I've learned anything over the past year of looking after other peoples' children, it is that I'm not going to treat him like he comes after them ever again. It was breaking his heart, and mine, but now we're friends (and allies when it comes to catching tadpoles) again....

Big Days of Helpful Ways....

I did a good thing this week, and I want to brag about it. My son and I spent a couple of hours a couple of days this week cooking food for my partner's grandparents, and then this morning we took them a big soft eskie full of lovely and nutritious food. I know it was lovely, because I tasted it! So simple, it cost us nothing but our time, and I feel like we have helped in a small way to take the burden off of Pop as Nan is very unwell and unable to cook.

So we've been busy, and that's our excuse to give you for not writing for a couple of days!

I've made my next conscious decision. I am making my son more aware of my love for him. I have been feeling like I'm really not a very good mum a lot of the time lately. My job means that I'm always focussing on the other childrens' well being and comfort and happiness and putting his a very close second every day. I see him as much more capable and adaptable, even though he is only two and a half, because the other children I mind are not as old or as well-developed as him (now how do you say that more in a politically correct way?), or they are much more socially-anxious. So this week I made a decision to close a part of my business - that which focusses on the smaller children - and only do that which allows me to spend most of my day on focussing on him.

Every thing has almost magically fallen in to place, as if the pot stirrers of the cosmos have been waiting for me to make this decision for quite sometime. As soon as I consciously made the decision to change focus (that was basically that I was sick of making my son feel like he was a second-rate citizen in his own home), I had a phone call from someone that turned my business focus completely. Basically, without giving too much personal detail, I can now work for half the time in hours and still make the same money plus a little more. I will have my days free to spend doing what ever my son and I see fit, exploring and having fun, and then work two nights a week with him right by my side.

This will work until the baby arrives in November, when I hope to take a little time off and expand our family and relax, and then I can restart, all going well, when ever I am ready.

So the focus this week is on our home, and our son. My partner is home in only a couple days, and we are taking our son to do as many fun things as possible, letting him lead the way for once and guide our sense of fun himself. I hope that once our little holiday is over and we find ourselves back working again, that the new found centre of our attention works for us to help build a better family life.

What an easy day...

You've gotta love it when 25% of your day's workload doesn't show up huh?!

We were supposed to have four children to care for today (including my son), and one hasn't shown up! Bliss! So right now I'm listening to the sounds of silence while the three who are here sleep away the afternoon.

Hope that your day is equally lovely and easy!

Oh, today was a No Spend day! I am sooo pleased about that. Yesterday I forgot was a public holiday, so forgot to grocery shop for the week (only did my fruit and veg on sunday at the farmers' market). Turns out, after doing a pantry/fridge/freezer stocktake, I don't need to go anywhere near the shops until at least next week, because the amount of food I have stocked up here is Ridiculous! I've even managed a two-week menu plan out of it. Very proud of my new frugal-mindedness paying off already!